NEWS OF THE WORLD!

Following the announcement by Vice President Cheney's wife that her husband and Barack Obama are distant relatives, the VP announced that he was willing to consider continuing as Vice President in an Obama Cabinet as long as "we can get a few things straight....like who's in charge.". Cheney noted that keeping the leadership of a country within the family has a long history and has worked "pretty darn well except for that problem in France a couple of centuries ago. But who can figure the French?"